Do you realize how unsanitary that is? It isn't enough for you to just be a werewolf is it? No, YOU have to be a breeder of DISEASE and a spreader of UNCLEANNESS and CONTAMINATION as well.

I was actually holding in my laughter fairly well until I came to "loiter n' loot" and then I had to release. I am in public at the moment and presently quite embarassed. But if I were a warewolf I would go right in the middle of State Street and stop traffic, squat down and take a shit. A big shit too, like the kind Suzie makes, and I'd make sure it was greenish-yellow. And then I would step in it with all four paws and smear it on the astonished faces of the crowd, seniors and babies included, no charge.

Awesome. Thank you for considering this important question.

So I took a poll of the people in my living room, and the results are as follows:

Devon: I would shave my entire body, so I could know what a naked werewolf looks like. Or, dred my hair and join a reggae band.

Angela: What do werewolves eat?

Me: People (and other animals, I'm sure).

Angela: Well, in that case, I'd eat only fruit, so I could be a unique werewolf. Or, I'd disguise myself as a normal person, and then write a book about being a minority.

Helena: Eat people.

Devon: Do you need more ideas?

Me: Sure!

Devon: I'd correct everyone that tried to call me a werewolf, and tell them that I was a bearwolf...and then I would eat fish.

Hmmm...I think I would go around howling just to annoy people. I usually annoy people really well as a human so...Anyway, I think your blog is hillarious. Seriously, mermaids and their butts, if they have them that is, has had me laughing since I read it...And now this! HAHA.

I never thought of the immortality-with-the-exception-of-silver-bullets factor. That opens up a whole new wolrd of possibilities!

I would go mess with people at fancy beauty salons by asking them how much it would cost to get my arms, face, and legs waxed.

THIS is classic Nate at his best! I especially love this phrase: "the mangled cry of a broken heart; therein lies its beauty, its frightfulness, its mystery." and the HILARIOUS pun at the end. Well done. Flawless victory.

Suzanne, you could ask the merpeople if they had butts!

I would jump out at stuff.

Is it true that werewolves can only be killed with a silver bullet? I would test this hypothesis by jumping into the ocean with a stop watch to see if and how long it would take me to drown. Then, if I found that I couldn't drown myself, I would search out the merpeople. We would become friends and they would teach me how to swim around the world in endless circles, avoiding a night of the light of the full moon so that I wouldn't eat them. If I did drown, however, I would spend eternity haunting other werewolves because they need someone to be scared of too.